From Zero to Hundred, Then back to Zero

Guys may think girls are complicated to figure out. Same case!! Guys are too complicated to read. From different positions, different points of view. Well, girls start liking guys from zero point, and the feelings just keep adding up day by day. Little things guys remember can make girls flattered. Girls think too much in their heads. They expect too much while too much expectations crush them in reality. It never happens. Maybe they are too dramatic, but in a professional word; most of them is deeply emotional. Girls can fall into love easily when a person is too good to them. They may expect or think about the things that person has done. But every single action has its own intention and consequence. Every reason is behind the logic. Maybe it is too hard to forget about guys they may have liked. Maybe it is a little bit demanding of effort to take care of themselves before stepping out and looking after someone else.

Girls are not difficult to read. But guys just like to make things as a bunch of big deal. Why does liking someone have a certain list of reasons? Probably it is love at first sight, or perhaps, it is a serious mistake of falling in love. Girls fall in love when that person comes around and smiles and looks so compromising. Girls start opening their hearts when it is confirmed that they like that person. Girls, most of the time, cannot stop the flowing of thinking and needing matters in their heads. They have a million little voices in their minds, playing up back and forth the logic fallacies. They are afraid of stepping out of their comfort zones. But once, they are opened up, that person may have broken their hearts at least twice or thrice. Girls always feel so stupid to have feelings towards that person. It is painful. But, it’s okay. Girls are strong and independent. Don’t ever underestimate them. They have built up the feelings to 100%. Yet, loving was dumb, dark and cheap to them. The used-to-be-sunshine will eventually fade away. The sun will set and light will be gone. The little voices will no longer present. Only a comfy self-care will stay. The thought of feeling such a loser will fade. The expectation will become reality. Then, reality will be accepted that it is not even worth it. That person is not the same one as you might think of. The pain and sorrow will become zero, and all feelings will fade away, because loving has consequences.

Lost In

Have you ever felt that you are surrounded by people but you still feel pretty lonely? Have you ever felt that you are a piece of wounded scar that people don’t want to see? Have you ever felt that you are a really tough woman but you still need somebody to hold on to complain about everything? Have you ever felt that there is no one exactly understands what you have gone through or what you have on your mind?

I really wonder if there is such a person who feels the same way as I usually do. It’s complicated that sometimes I don’t even know what is inside me, what do I want or what do I have. I sometimes lose the direction to where I am heading to. I often reach out my friends to tell them what I have thought about. But, it’s too tiring just to reach out ‘coz eventually most of the time they cannot do anything to heal my ugly mind.

I don’t want to bear it all alone, I’m scared that I might be loosened up and settle to what I’ve never wanted to do…….

jANEL – the witch

“Don’t listen to her! She’s telling a lie. She’s not a person you all should comfort.” – Suddenly, another lady whose age was about 27 years declared confidently about the identification of Arise.

“Janel?” – Arise wiped her tears, and called the lady who was going against what she said.

“Yeahh, at least you still remember my name. I thought you forgot me, but never mind. I’ve never ever forgotten what you did to me.” – Janel replied harshly to Arise.

“What are you doing here? When did you come here? Oh… How did you come here?” -Arise asked questions wonderingly with pale face.

“Who do you think you are? You think you are a cute little girl gathers people’s attention? Wow… you’re actually not, my dear”– Janel clapped her hands and told Arise to forget her cute appearance.

Jordan, then, asked what the hell was going on right now? Did Janel and Arise think they were fighting boxers? Jordan played the significant role as a hot fire-fighter to both of ladies here.

“Janel, she’s my elder sister, our family had lost her in last 3 years. We’ve been separated for so long.”– Arise officially declared to people here that Janel was her elder sister.

“Hmmm… Our family? Lost? Am I your sister? You think I trust all of your words??? Little girl, you have to distinguish between the words: Lost or Abandoned!!” -Janel yelled to Arise angrily that Janel was the only one Arise’s family abandoned during the chaos in downtown.

“Why did you become like this? Our mother had cried every night that she lost you, you ran away with one of the high ranking official. Our father gathered followers in downtown just to get you back. And you said our family abandoned you? Why didn’t you come with father? You should not have been born in our family!!”– Arise also yelled angrily as Janel was too much naughty and used the harsh words to her.

Then, Janel slapped Arise; of course it’s hurt…She also added, “Ah ha… you deserved this. you are younger than me, you should not have taught me. I did not run away, we just went to have a dinner together. Just so you know, I’ve never said I don’t want to come with father, but he used me for his own benefits.”



The New is never different from the Old

Arise continued to describe the situation happened in her life. “My father was a local businessman; he’s waving for liberty in downtown when the officials took properties from the people and from my family. My grandfather was also assassinated by the government,
accusing him illegal immigrant and murderer. My family have suffered from what we had sacrificed.” She’s crying but a local lady trying to comfort her. Suddenly she realized that many locals were gathering around her and starting to cry of such a sad story.

Then, Jordan also joined expressing. “We all knew it, your grandfather was a former revolution leader, some of us here also joined with him. Even though he was killed, his efforts never died. Your father went after him. We’re also descendants of Damacorre, we
ran from the past”.

Everyone here expressed their true feelings emotionally to Arise’s family. Her grandfather was the leader of revolution party, but the party was divided into left and right wings, and he got killed. The right wing became new government of Damacorre, but who
knew? The new was not different from the old one. The new government was also authoritarian-oriented. Arise’s father used to sleep tightly every night because the business going well in the hope of harmonious dream. But the officials started to take his properties, he never thought that the new government would be much more cruel than the previous one. Everything happened immediately yet unprecedented; life changed but the question still remained….. What should she do? What life should she move on? Did it matter to turn back or just move on?


Amazing Mosaints

When Arise gets up, she feels better than ever before maybe because she knows exactly that she’s once again alive. Arise walks outside the treating room and freshly sees the simple world in front of her. It’s a magically amazing. She sees the town in simple, but it’s not like that at all.

The world in front of her is like ancient, people are helping one another. Some yelling at other because of the farthest distance between them in a huge-gold-color field. It’s a rice field, indeed. Some feed the pigs, chickens while some give green grass to cows and horses. Some is busy cooking the meals by using large pans for whole population here, but how many people are here?

Some people are smiling before they leave to the woods; whereas, 6 people including Jordan are preparing to fish in the middle of the sea. It’s not totally ancient, but it is a life before modernization period.

Arise has been standing at the middle of this town, she never stops admiring what a nice scene she now sees.

“Arise?”, a lady tries to approach Arise by calling her name.

Arise looks back, and replied “yes, I am Arise. How do you know my name?”

“Jordan told us.”

“We heard you came from Damacorre, you tried to escape from Enine’s ruling.”

“It’s an unforgettable memory, they killed my family because they were angry with what i had spread that we all needed freedom. They arrested my father, and they made my father living under severe punishment. My father’s dead after 5 days in prison…”


Life After Death

It smells so fresh like Magnolia, wonderful fragrance ever she’s ever smelled…

She opens her eyes with fear as she’s not sure where she is right now.

“You woke up?”, a stranger man asked Mary. “Are you good?”

“Who are you? Where am I? Is this hell or heaven? “, she asked him back.

“Woahh… relax, you’re still alive. I’m living in this village. I wonder where did you come from with this deep wound on your stomach?”, he asked.

“I can’t believe I’m still alive. I was cut by the tree trap from the South of Damacorre where I once escaped from the totally authoritarian system, and they tried to arrest me.”

“It must be difficult for you. You’re cured by our most professional doctor. Don’t worry, stay here. You’re safe”

She smiled with relief in her head. It’s no more from her mind.

“Our village is called Mosaints, people here live in simple way that is we grow the plants, we fish, and we collect fruit from the forests” – he described perfectly.

“I’ve waited for this simply, I really hope I can go along with all people here”

“Sure, you will. What is your name, by the way?” – he asked her gently.

“My name, Err my name is….. Arise”

“Jordan…. Are you coming? It’s time”– A villager called Jordan loudly.

“I’m Jordan. Fine, rest for a while, I’ll be back, i gotta help ploughing with our farmer”, he told Mary.

“Yeahh, I’m going”. Jordan comes out while because of hurting wound, Mary falls asleep. And it’s a new life for her…



Do you think you can run?

Mary knows it’s been a long way to go, to achieve her goal. But all she knows is that she cannot know how many obstacles more to pass through.

“She should not know I’m here”. Mary’s walking until the end of the farm, and she sees a beautiful mountain there. She never thought that she could see this kind of view, but don’t be happy yet.

Mary is so amazed of the fake scene in front of her. Suddenly, the mountain vanishes like ashes. Is that a magic?

“Oh no. Where should I go at this time?” Slow running with a hand trying to block blood flowing from her stomach, she’s never imagined that she could encounter this situation. “Is this a way out or a death path?” She met everything in her life but she never
wished to see blood from her body. “I cannot continue, no morreee….” She whispered to her self. She sees everything around her in dark…..